Non-Monogamy: Caused, Commanded, and Celebrated by God (Old Testament)

Many Evangelicals say that monogamy is the only option. It's interesting how when confronted with Scriptures they are aware of which teach otherwise they turn around and then say 'well it's at least God's ideal'. Is anything outside of monogamy sin or less than God's ideal? What does God's Word say about this? One can see that God caused, commanded, and celebrated relations outside of monogamy (at least in the Old Testament this is undeniable). In response, Evangelicals often cherry pick verses and split hairs over things that hardly relate to the argument. It is admitted that the Old Testament references do not in themselves mean that non-monogamy is ideal, but neither do the verses they pick out from the Old Testament mean that monogamy is clearly the only way or ideal. When it comes to the New Testament, we have the law of love and an argument from silence. It says little for either side of the argument and neither condemns or endorses non-monogamy for all people. These issues will be looked into in future posts. The following is in no way an endorsement for all people to be involved in ethical non-monogamy or to have more than one husband or wife. But is meant to show that monogamous relationships are not God's only way according to the Bible. That is a myth. Ethical non-monogamy is an option for some people.

1. Relationship(s) Outside of Monogamy Caused by God
Is God the Author of sin? Absolutely not. Does He tempt people to sin? No (James 1:13). But this would be the case if non-monogamy were a sin. Why? Because God gave to David (one man) wives (plural). 2 Samuel 12:8 says 'I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah, and if that had been too little, I would have added unto thee such and such things'. Did you read that? God gave David multiple women. And that weren't enough of 'such' He would had given more. Thus, if one insists that non-monogamy is always a sin. He must insist that God caused this sin to happen. Sin is to miss that mark of God's perfect ideal. So the argument that non-monogamy was permissible but still not the ideal falls short at least in this instance. The word 'wives' could even be translated as 'women' as it often is translated elsewhere and 'house' could also include women of Saul's household that David was given. Thus this may not refer to just wives but debatably female partners as well. These were taken into David's 'bosom' which is a form of the Hebrew word 'cheq'. Both the meaning of this word and even more so the context which is about sex implies quite heavily that God gave David women (plural) to have sex with. Unfortunately, this was not enough for David and he still committed adultery with Bathsheba.

2. Relationships Outside of Monogamy Commanded or Permitted by God
Under the Mosaic Law, some people were indirectly commanded to have more than one wife. This was under the levirate marriage system in which if a man died and didn't first cause his wife to have children, the brother of the man was to provide children for the widow (Deuteronomy 25:5-10). There is no mention of whether or not the brother in law was already married. It is an assumption to say that this was only for single men to fulfill. And the passage perhaps implies that some widows wanted this as well since they were to spit in the brother's face if he refused. Ruth sought out a levirate marriage with Boaz. One can argue the above some but what is clear is that God permitted and regulated polygamy under the Mosaic Law (Exodus 21:10, Deuteronomy 21:15-17) and never condemned the multiple wives (and concubines/mistresses etc.) that men of God had such as Abraham, Jacob, David, Gideon, and Solomon. That's right, look it up! All of these men not only had wives but also had unmarried sexual partners with a plurality of women and this was never condemned in and of itself (the idolatrous marriages to foreign women was condemned). It even regulated how men are to treat their mistresses (unmarried female sexual partners that they were to care for/concubines) (Exodus 21:7-10). Just because these men did this or God permitted does not mean this is what we should so. Nevertheless, since Evangelicals strive hard to cherry pick arguments against non-monogamy from the Old Testament the above was written to show that the subject is not as crystal clear as some present it to be.
3. Relationships Outside of Monogamy Celebrated by God
We read in the Song of Solomon that multiples wives, concubines, and mistresses was not condemned (Song of Solomon 6:8-9). Solomon adding another wife and having sex with her was not condemned either by God or the other women according to this book of the Bible. It is noted elsewhere however that Solomon's marriage to pagan women which led him into idolatry was a sin. It is also debatable yet fairly clear that Solomon and the woman in this book had some sort of sexual relationship (perhaps oral sex?) before they were married (2:3-4).

Thus, non-monogamy cannot be considered to always be a sin (or less than God's ideal). Most importantly God caused it and thus it cannot be a sin. He perhaps commanded it but certainly regulated it. And seemed to celebrate it. And the New Testament is largely silent on this issue and expects whatever actions we choose to be based upon love. The above Old Testament examples maybe considered cherry picking by some but not as much as I have seen for the other side of the argument. Evangelicals point out examples of where non-monogamy has caused problems in the live of Old Testament saints, but the same could be said just as much for the monogamous relations. Or they will point out how Genesis 2:24 involved only 2 and think that that somehow clearly implies that all people for all time are can have only 1 partner.